The following is a test of epicness. If you can successfully pass this test, then you are perfectly qualified to refer to yourself as “Epic” on the Internet, or at the very least around me. Try it out and see how well you do! Make everyone else you know try it! Seriously!

Test of Epicness

Candidates have two hours with which to complete the test. Candidates must answer four of the six questions. Candidates must have previously filled out form PH41L, giving consent that in the event that they fail, their personal details are published on the Internet, for all to make use of and laugh at the failing candidates.

1. Encompassing standard distribution and chaos theory, calculate the following:
   1. The probability that there will be ten green bottles sitting on any given wall.
   2. If and when one green bottle will accidentally fall.

   For the context of this question, you may substitute: fat sausages sizzling in a pan, one of which goes pop, another of which goes bang; bottles of beer on a wall, one of which is taken down and passed around.

2. Explain the reasoning and mechanics as to why, despite access to several hundred television channels:
   1. There is never anything on to watch when you set an evening aside to relax curled up on the sofa watching the television.
   2. When there is something interesting on to watch, it is always on a channel you could still get on the most basic subscription package.
3. Illustrate using a chart or other graph, your level of surprise when the following events occur on time:
   1. Your train arrives
   2. Your doctor’s appointment
   3. Your alarm goes off
   4. Your overpaid taxes refund goes through
   5. Your bus arrives
   6. Your boss arrives at work
4. Assuming standard distribution, illustrate on a Venn diagram, those out of a group of 100 gamers who are:
   1. 10 years of age
   2. American
   3. Only capable of conversing through expletive language
   4. 10 years of age, American, and only capable of conversing through expletive language
   5. Female
5. Using Darwin’s theory of evolution, and encompassing the history of evolution of man, explain:
   1. Mary Harney
   2. Brian Cowen
   3. Ryan Tubridy
   4. Bertie Ahern
6. In regards to traffic congestion, and utter confusion and frustration of motorists; compare and discuss the “before” and “after” scenarios of the following events:
   1. The Port Tunnel opened
   2. The M50 toll bridge became “freeflow”
   3. Work began on converting the M50 off-ramp roundabouts to “freeflow” spaghetti junctions

Good luck!