Oddly it actually has nothing to do with the BBC… But hell, I’ll go for it.

As the rules state, bold for completely read, italics for partially read. I may add other comments too.

1. Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen
2. The Lord of the Rings – JRR Tolkien
   

   Despite the fact I really don’t like the series, I did start reading the book. Probably because there’s three copies in the house…

3. Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte
4. Harry Potter series – JK Rowling (1-7)
5. To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee
6. The Bible
7. Wuthering Heights – Emily Bronte
8. Nineteen Eighty Four – George Orwell
9. His Dark Materials – Philip Pullman
10. Great Expectations – Charles Dickens
11. Little Women – Louisa M Alcott
12. Tess of the D’Urbervilles – Thomas Hardy
13. Catch 22 – Joseph Heller
14. Complete Works of Shakespeare
15. Rebecca – Daphne Du Maurier
16. The Hobbit – JRR Tolkien
    

    Think it was a class project in primary school at some point, to read this.

17. Birdsong – Sebastian Faulks
18. Catcher in the Rye – JD Salinger
19. The Time Traveller’s Wife – Audrey Niffenegger
20. Middlemarch – George Eliot
21. Gone With The Wind – Margaret Mitchell
22. The Great Gatsby – F Scott Fitzgerald
23. Bleak House – Charles Dickens
24. War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy
25. The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams
    

    Never actually read the book fully, despite the fact I love the movie.

26. Brideshead Revisited – Evelyn Waugh
27. Crime and Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28. Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck
29. Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll
30. The Wind in the Willows – Kenneth Grahame
    

    I think I did, much younger, but I can’t say for sure…

31. Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy
32. David Copperfield – Charles Dickens
33. Chronicles of Narnia – CS Lewis
34. Emma – Jane Austen
35. Persuasion – Jane Austen
36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe – CS Lewis
    

    Again, I think I have, ages ago when a kid, despite the fact I don’t like the entire set…

37. The Kite Runner – Khaled Hosseini
38. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin – Louis De Berniere
39. Memoirs of a Geisha – Arthur Golden
40. Winnie the Pooh – AA Milne
41. Animal Farm – George Orwell
42. The Da Vinci Code – Dan Brown
    

    It’s around the house, so I’ve read snippets.

43. One Hundred Years of Solitude – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney – John Irving
45. The Woman in White – Wilkie Collins
46. Anne of Green Gables – LM Montgomery
47. Far From The Madding Crowd – Thomas Hardy
48. The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood
49. Lord of the Flies – William Golding
50. Atonement – Ian McEwan
51. Life of Pi – Yann Martel
52. Dune – Frank Herbert
    

    I think I’ve read some of this from one of those really old Reader’s Digest compilation books. Really should read it though, given how much I love the RTS games of the same series.

53. Cold Comfort Farm – Stella Gibbons
54. Sense and Sensibility – Jane Austen
55. A Suitable Boy – Vikram Seth
56. The Shadow of the Wind – Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57. A Tale Of Two Cities – Charles Dickens
58. Brave New World – Aldous Huxley
59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time – Mark Haddon
60. Love In The Time Of Cholera – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61. Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck
62. Lolita – Vladimir Nabokov
63. The Secret History – Donna Tartt
64. The Lovely Bones – Alice Sebold
65. Count of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas
66. On The Road – Jack Kerouac
67. Jude the Obscure – Thomas Hardy
68. Bridget Jones’s Diary – Helen Fielding
69. Midnight’s Children – Salman Rushdie
70. Moby Dick – Herman Melville
71. Oliver Twist – Charles Dickens
72. Dracula – Bram Stoker
73. The Secret Garden – Frances Hodgson Burnett
    

    Sister had to read it for school, so inevitably, I had to read parts as well.

74. Notes From A Small Island – Bill Bryson
75. Ulysses – James Joyce
76. The Bell Jar – Sylvia Plath
77. Swallows and Amazons – Arthur Ransome
78. Germinal – Emile Zola
79. Vanity Fair – William Makepeace Thackeray
80. Possession – AS Byatt
81. A Christmas Carol – Charles Dickens
82. Cloud Atlas – David Mitchell
83. The Color Purple – Alice Walker
84. The Remains of the Day – Kazuo Ishiguro
85. Madame Bovary – Gustave Flaubert
86. A Fine Balance – Rohinton Mistry
87. Charlotte’s Web – EB White
88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Albom
89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90. The Faraway Tree Collection – Enid Blyton
91. Heart of Darkness – Joseph Conrad
92. The Little Prince – Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93. The Wasp Factory – Iain Banks
94. Watership Down – Richard Adams
95. A Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole
96. A Town Like Alice – Nevil Shute
97. The Three Musketeers – Alexandre Dumas
98. Hamlet – William Shakespeare
    

    Such a pity we did The Merchant of Venice in Junior, and King Lear for the Leaving :3

99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – Roald Dahl
100. Les Miserables – Vict

Well, I’m not very well read, I suppose

Test of Epicness

Candidates have two hours with which to complete the test. Candidates must answer four of the six questions. Candidates must have previously filled out form PH41L, giving consent that in the event that they fail, their personal details are published on the Internet, for all to make use of and laugh at the failing candidates.

1. Encompassing standard distribution and chaos theory, calculate the following:
   1. The probability that there will be ten green bottles sitting on any given wall.
   2. If and when one green bottle will accidentally fall.

   For the context of this question, you may substitute: fat sausages sizzling in a pan, one of which goes pop, another of which goes bang; bottles of beer on a wall, one of which is taken down and passed around.

2. Explain the reasoning and mechanics as to why, despite access to several hundred television channels:
   1. There is never anything on to watch when you set an evening aside to relax curled up on the sofa watching the television.
   2. When there is something interesting on to watch, it is always on a channel you could still get on the most basic subscription package.
3. Illustrate using a chart or other graph, your level of surprise when the following events occur on time:
   1. Your train arrives
   2. Your doctor’s appointment
   3. Your alarm goes off
   4. Your overpaid taxes refund goes through
   5. Your bus arrives
   6. Your boss arrives at work
4. Assuming standard distribution, illustrate on a Venn diagram, those out of a group of 100 gamers who are:
   1. 10 years of age
   2. American
   3. Only capable of conversing through expletive language
   4. 10 years of age, American, and only capable of conversing through expletive language
   5. Female
5. Using Darwin’s theory of evolution, and encompassing the history of evolution of man, explain:
   1. Mary Harney
   2. Brian Cowen
   3. Ryan Tubridy
   4. Bertie Ahern
6. In regards to traffic congestion, and utter confusion and frustration of motorists; compare and discuss the “before” and “after” scenarios of the following events:
   1. The Port Tunnel opened
   2. The M50 toll bridge became “freeflow”
   3. Work began on converting the M50 off-ramp roundabouts to “freeflow” spaghetti junctions

Good luck!

[In the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, Carson performs his fortune-telling act.]
Johnny Carson: Gilligan, the Skipper and Chief Wiggum. [unveils card] Name three castaways.
[Crowd laughs, and Chief Wiggum shoots the TV with his sidearm. The shots miss.]
Sarah Wiggum: Clancy, use the remote.
Chief Wiggum: Oh. [Picks up the remote in a holster, and changes channels. Another TV talk show host comes on]
Joan Rivers: Can we talk about Chief Wiggum? Ah, ah, ah… [points to her own open mouth. Chief Wiggum throws the sidearm into the TV.]

Many thanks to Wikiquote!

On that note, I’m going to hold my own fortune-telling act. I will come up with a “card”, and you must answer based on what you think the card reads.

Rules:

1. The card must read something in the format of “Name three…”
2. The card’s contents must be posted in the post, but is to be unreadable by means of making it black text on black background (or similar). And preferably set to be displayed in a certain very unrecognisable font
3. After a couple of days (or once your tagged people respond), reveal the card.
4. Link back here.
5. Link back to the person who tagged you.
6. Tag three others to try and predict your card.

So my card is:

Name three people Barack Obama is most likely to sleep with secretly.

Hopefully, my apprentice fortune tellers will be able to get it right

• Lottie:
• Darragh: Ellen DeGeneres, Tina Fey (doing wonders), Michelle (Oxxxx)
• K8: (before cheating) Worzel Gummidge, Popeye, Travelling Uncle Matt from the Fraggles
  (after cheating) Shirley Temple Bar, Twink, Spire on O’Connell Street

And they are: Lottie, Darragh, and… *picks at random from massive feed list*… K8.

Under no circumstances should anyone responding try and translate the card, unless you want to be a party pooper and ruin it all

Have fun!

T Cup from Red Lemonade started this one…

Shameful Crushes

I have none.

Tagged

No-one. Doesn’t seem to be much point in tagging anyone if I have none myself.

Meme

Anyway, the whole point is to pick 8 people, alive or dead, who you’d like to invite to a dinner party, and why. Grandad somehow got around to it while still on holiday and apparently he “hasn’t hit me before, and it’ll give me something to worry about”. I have more important things to worry about

The 8 lucky (or not-so) people

Bad Bear Bogie – Xbox Gamerchix from somewhere on the Southside. Why? I know that there are plenty of girl gamers out there (and I wish there were more), but BBB is the best one out of them who I’ve barely ever played with. I think the most we’ve ever done on Live together is play a couple of UNO games and do a bit of Halo 3 co-op. You might say that’s barely any time at all, but it was enough to know I liked playing with her
PS: Don’t get any ideas, she’s at least twice my age!

Will Wright – Creator of SimCity and the Sims. The Sims game series’ have been immensly popular, particularly with myself, hence why I can spend hours on end playing it even on this low-end machine. It’d be nice to have him along to discuss his creation of the series, and whether he has more planned on top of what’s out now.

Don “Hollywood” Yates – better known as “Wolf” from the 2008 American Gladiators revival + Michael van Wijk – better known as “Wolf” from the ’90s UK Gladiators. Well, they’d be there to provide entertainment for the evening. Especially if there to be a battle of the wolves on Earthquake

Right, now we’re getting into the “Who next?” side, so the rest are more random…

Whoever the current CEO of Innocent Drinks is – and hope that they supply the smoothies

Jimmy Wales – founder of Wikipedia. So I can talk Wiki talk without sounding like an idiot.

Monkeynutz – from one of those NSFW posts from a while back. So I can slap him silly and otherwise make him into the douche that he is.

Gordon Ramsay – the famous chef. A nice little slagging match before his over-hyped food would be a nice appetiser

Tagged!

The three people I’m going to tag this with, are the three people most likely to actually read this:

1. ‘Flex
2. John
3. Keiron

Rules

• Pick 8 people you’d like to invite to dinner, dead or alive or re-animated / resurrected.
• Say why
• Link your answers back to Lottie
• Give credit to the person who tagged you
• Tag three others

Blame Lottie for starting all this