Top Video Game Weapons

So, from time to time on forums I visit, gaming forums in particular, we get asked what our favourite games are, and then in more detail, favourite storylines, favourite levels, and other related crap.

But, since I can never keep tabs on which are my favourite of "x", I’ve decided it’s time for me to sit down and give each weapon I claim to love an honest review, and then grade them based on the scores I give it. As such, here are my Top Video Game Weapons. According to me, anyway.

All of these weapons, I have played the games with which they appear. I have played with the weapon being mentioned in the game. If I haven’t played it, or played with it, it doesn’t appear here. Also, when thinking back about good weapons, I have to actually be able to think "Yea, that was a good weapon" off of the top of my head. No huge list of every single weapon in the game so I can grade and review each and every one. I’m not that sad.

Each weapon is graded based on four factors: Pure Power, namely how much of the enemy I’m disintegrating while using the weapon; Sheer Epicness, how important or bragging-worthy the weapon itself is; Uniqueness, if it’s a completely new thang, or just a rehash of the game old boring gun you get in every game; and Lovability, as in how much I used the weapon at every opportunity and couldn’t put it down until it was either taken from me somehow, or I ran out of ammo.

Without further ado, let’s get to the point.

#1 – Concrete Donkey – Worms

Nothing, and I seriously mean NOTHING can compare to a big huge concrete donkey just dropping from the sky and absolutely decimating everything in it’s path downwards, leaving nothing bug a big huge gaping hole in the landscape. And hopefully a lot of dead worms!

Power 10 – Epic 10 – Unique 10 – Love 10

Total 40/40

#2 – Scoped Gauss Rifle – Fallout 3

Introduced with the Operation: Anchorage expansion, the Scoped Gauss Rifle is one of the best all-round weapons available in the game. With a high damage capability, huge knockback on criticals, and a high zooming scope allowing for great free-aim shots, the Gauss Rifle can easily become your primary and only weapon given you have enough Microfusion Cells! The main drawbacks are the fact that as a completely unique weapon, the only way to repair it is via NPCs, which does cost quite a bit of money. Also, it does become considerably less effective the higher-levelled you are. However, it can still be quite an excellent damage source, even against the toughest of opponents!

Power 8 – Epic 9 – Unique 10 – Love 10

Total 37/40

#3 – Banana Bomb – Worms

It’s soft. It’s squishy. It’s yellow. It’s exploding fruit. What else do you want?!?!

Power 10 – Epic 9 – Unique 7 – Love 10

Total 36/40

#4 – Tesla Cannon – Fallout 3

Yes, it is a big ass cannon that fires a huge electrical burst with high damage. Yes, it is that bad ass. Yes, each shot is powered by a single Electron Charge Cell. And yes, it would be much better if we could use it much, much earlier than the final mission…

Power 10 – Epic 10 – Unique 6 – Love 8

Total 34/40

#5 – Homing Rocket Launcher – Crackdown

In Crackdown, there are two types of rocket launcher. The normal, boring one; and the badass homing one. There are many ways that this description can be understated, so I’ll just put it like this: once you find this weapon, you really have no reason to switch to another ever again. It really is that awesome. Especially when you can start using it to juggle things around like cars or dead bodies!

Power 8 – Epic 10 – Unique 6 – Love 10

Total 34/40

#6 – Gravity Gun – Half-Life 2

It is one of the main signatures of Half-Life. Nothing is more satisfying that killing your enemy with a cardboard box that you picked up with the Gravity Gun and shot straight at their face. Chopping through zombies in Ravenholm with saw blades fired with deadly accuracy is heaven. And it all gets better when infused with dark energy, making it actually useful when there’s no junk around to fire at things any larger than a headcrab!

Power 5 – Epic 10 – Unique 10 – Love 7

Total 32/40

#7 – Ripper – Dead Space

When it comes to creating as much gore as possible, you’d look to a saw of some sort. That’s where the Ripper comes in. Launching remote saw blades that tear apart and quickly dismember anything that comes your way, you’d be hard pressed to downplay this weapon and weak and unwieldy. Proper aiming makes for quick work of nearby foes, particularly if you are swarmed by many foes at once and want a quick escape. Who needs a saw on a bayonet?

Power 6 – Epic 9 – Unique 9 – Love 7

Total 31/40

#8 – Plasma Cutter – Dead Space

Never before has the most basic starting weapon been all you ever need. In Dead Space, the Plasma Cutter is arguably the only gun you need to use to beat the game (going so far as to actually give an achievement for doing so!) as it’s simple shots, be they horizontal or vertical, can make quick work of any enemy you face, particularly when upgraded to the maximum. While each individual shot may not be the best, overall in the right hands, it can be used with deadly efficiency.

Power 4 – Epic 10 – Unique 7 – Love 10

Total 31/40

#9 – Particle Cannon – Command & Conquer Generals: Zero Hour

Normally, a beam of particles isn’t all that much of a big deal. How about then you turn them into a cannon. Still no? How about when you get stronger cannons that are built for half the price when you’re the Superweapon General? OK, what about 140 of them? While it may seem like a tame superweapon by most game standards, spamming them is a very effective tactic. Rain pinky-purple death!

Power 7 – Epic 8 – Unique 5 – Love 10

Total 30/40

#10 – Aura Sphere – Pokémon

Again, not exactly a weapon but then again how else are you supposed to fight in the Pokémon games? One of the moves added to the pool in Generation IV was Aura Sphere. A Special-based Fighting-type move that never misses, but unlike all the other guaranteed hit moves, it has a base power of 90 rather than 60. Coupled with the fact that the Pokémon that learn it all have a very high Special Attack stat, and Aura Sphere starts to completely decimate the enemy!

Power 8 – Epic 7 – Unique 6 – Love 9

Total 30/40

#11 – Grenade Launcher – Call of Duty 4

While most people would probably shun the inclusion of such a weapon in a list like this, I say one thing – if they put the weapon in the game, balancing it out by making you use your first Perk to get two shots, and those people just know how to use the gun, then they are not idiots noob tubing. Deal with it. Besides, it’s fun running around with Overkill and two launcher guns, so that you get four shots, which is four near-guaranteed kills. Just don’t expect to make friends anytime soon.

Power 8 – Epic 2 – Unique 9 – Love 10

Total 29/40

#12 – Malediction – EVE Online

While it’s not a weapon, per se, EVE is a bit more about the ships themselves than the loadouts they have. Built primarily as a tackler, the Malediction is one of the fastest ships in the game, particularly when fitted with a microwarpdrive and the right skill training. Capable of locking down targets, and harass them until larger gang forces arrive, or just chipping away at the enemy for a kill, the Male is one of my favourites. The fact it goes 13.5 AU/s in warp is just the icing on the cake!

Power 5 – Epic 6 – Unique 8 – Love 10

Total 29/40

#13 – Holy Hand Grenade – Worms

What much else is there to say about it? It’s a big-ass grenade that blows up, taking everyone in the nearby vicinity away with it. Although it does have the tendency to be a grenade, and even a slight miscalculation in your throw can prove very costly.

Power 10 – Epic 8 – Unique 6 – Love 4

Total 28/40

#14 – Silenced G3 – Call of Duty 4

I tell you, a silenced G3 in Call of Duty 4 online playing Hardcore, especially with UAV Jammer and Dead Silence, it one of the most fun ways to play the game. As long as you are a sneaky bastard, like myself, and stay in the corners and out of sight of the enemy, you can have an absolute ball. While it may not be too powerful, the gun is whisper quiet and can take people down in one or two shots. I once remember sitting in a corner on Overgrow hidden by a bush for the whole length of a Hardcore Team Deathmatch game. Sure, I only picked up three kills, but no-one managed to find me at all!

Power 3 – Epic 6 – Unique 8 – Love 10

Total 27/40

#15 – Blade – Prototype

Sure, it just looks like a big sword coming out of your arm. But when that big sword is capable of cutting through everything, then it becomes interesting. Coupled with making all the other powers look like either complete garbage or only useful in certain situations, and you get my drift!

Power 6 – Epic 8 – Unique 4 – Love 9

Total 27/40

#16 – Spartan Laser – Halo 3

Normally, lasers aren’t too much trouble. They shoot some red stuff at you and it hurts. Well, let’s instead give a huge over-sized laser to a futuristic super-soldier and let them rain red death down on the masses. Now we’re talking some good laser. Of course, it does have it’s drawbacks of taking an age to charge up, inability to track enemies, as well as instantly becoming the target of all enemy fire as soon as you pick it up,

Power 10 – Epic 7 – Unique 4 – Love 5

Total 26/40

#17 – Assault Rifle – Left 4 Dead

Two words – well, actually really it’s just one word – Powershot. Your best friend when it comes to dealing with the Witch, and a great way to knock a huge chunk off of the Tank in a hurry! Other than that, quite frankly, it’s really meh.

Power 4 – Epic 6 – Unique 8 – Love 8

Total 26/40

#18 – Force-a-Nature – Team Fortress 2

How can a humble hunting shotgun be such an insane weapon when in the hands of the Scout? The Force-a-Nature packs a huge wallop at close range, as well as the added effect of a vast amount of knockback, giving it two thumbs up for damage and stopping power. As well as being able to be used to propel yourself even further when jumping around like the crazy sugar-hyped baseball addict you are!

Power 6 – Epic 5 – Unique 4 – Love 10

Total 25/40

#19 – Dart Gun – Fallout 3

While most would consider large, powerful weapons to be synonymous with Fallout 3, sometimes it’s one of the smallest guns that can be the most deadly. The Dart Gun is one of the custom weapons you must find schematics for and create out of bits and bobs, but that does not undermine it’s usefulness. First off, it’s a silent weapon, meaning anyone who plays sneakily can make great use of it. While it’s base damage is horribly low, it has a secondary poison effect dealing more damage over the next few seconds to the target. And most importantly of all, a single hit from the gun instantly cripples both of the target’s legs, reducing them to a limp, and in the case of large powerful quick foes like the Deathclaw and Yao Guai – rendering them essentially moot, since you’ve removed their most powerful lunging attacks.

Power 2 – Epic 4 – Unique 9 – Love 10

Total 25/40

#20 – Torque Bow – Gears of War 2

One of the more unique weapons in the game, the Torque Bow combines the long range and pure damage of the sniper rifle, with an explosive warhead and a unique delivery system. While it does lack any form of scope, forcing you to rely on the miniscule zoom provided by aiming, some of the sickest shots possible can be pulled off if you use it well, including the odd two-for-one or even more.

Power 8 – Epic 7 – Unique 6 – Love 4

Total 25/40